My past revisited

I am 26 turning 27. I have been working for more than seven years now. And what have I got to show for it? Nothing much, I'm afraid. Okay. So, I have some savings in the bank. But for someone who has been working for as long as I am, you would think I'd have so much more to show than that. I just figured that I should be driving my own car by now. Or, managing my own business already. Well, money has always been a problem. I did not come from a wealthy family. I have been supporting my family ever since I started working. This is one of the reasons why I am not able to save a lot. However, I don't feel bitter about it. It's just something I feel I should do. What I regret is not learning to seriously save money. I only started to save last 1995 through the urging of a friend. And, although I was able to save a lot, it doesn't seem to be enough. Well, it's not yet enough for me to pursue my MBA. This is the reason why I tried to save money. All the while I'm

I am an anorexic. It is not something I am proud of but I know I am one. I am 5'2 and supposedly, the average weight for me is between 110 to 115 pounds. I am only 105 lbs. right now but I feel like I'm so fat already. I'd like to maintain a 98 lbs. weight so, imagine my shock when I learned that I gained seven pounds in three weeks! I don't know exactly when it started, I just know now that I have anorexia nervosa. I can still remember a time in my life when I don't give a hoot about the type and amount of food I ate. I just took in what I can without any fuss about it. I was not conscious of my figure then. One day, all of that changed when I saw an attractive and sexy girl and I got envious of how she looked. Since then I have started to watch my food intake and I always try to maintain a 98 lbs. weight. There are perks and drawbacks in being slim. I can confidently wear clothes that show off my figure and I can fit in a size 20 of kid's clothing with room to

Valentine's day is coming. You'd notice it by all the red heart designs splashed all over. Love cards are out and dozens are being sold everyday. After the busy Christmas season, it's now the day of hearts that people are busy with. Flower peddlers will be abundant in the street. Motels will be fully booked and restaurants will be filled to their capacity. Men will be spending a lot of money to buy flowers, chocolates and cards for their love ones. Sometimes even women do the same. All these for the so dubbed 'Day of Hearts'. For an unattached person like me, Valentine's Day doesn't hold any special treat. In fact, you won't catch me dead having a gimmick on this day for fear of being labeled a baduy. Sure, you'd say it's because I have no special someone to celebrate the day with. When someone gives me a retort like that, I usually answer 'Sure, rub it in. Why don't you just take a knife and plunge it in my heart?' I am, of course, j

Fear gripped my heart. My palms were sweaty and I felt cold all over. I was in Mine's View Park looking over Baguio's losing battle against urbanization. My friend asked me to step up to a rock no higher than one foot. But I was frozen in place. I can't seem to move without my friend's help. He held my hand and helped me overcome my fear. It is funny how something so easy seemed so hard for me to do. I envied the children I saw playing around without a care, without fear. I am afraid of heights. I cannot look down from tall buildings without feeling dizzy and cold all over. When I saw Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino in Devil's Advocate, daring life itself by standing at the ledge of a high building, boy, did I envy them ! There must be something about some people that makes them fearless in handling what I fear. When I was in New Jersey, we went to an amusement park there called Six Flags. There was this ride that they aptly call as the 'Dare Devil Dive' or D3. A